No, we shouldn’t lower the drinking age.
07 Dec 2010 2 Comments
in fear, Jesus, Philosophy, theology
…we should just set all the alcohol factories on fire. If nothing else, it’s fun to start fires.
But seriously! People who know me well know that I feel very strongly about alcohol and its place in society. I don’t blame it for all our societal ills, but let’s be honest: alcohol is a plague. It’s a drug. It’s a curse. And I’m sick of hearing lame excuses for allowing it a central place in the lives of Christians. It’s not that both my grandfathers died from alcohol-related diseases. This is isn’t a religious rant. It’s that my generation, and the one after it, and the one after THAT, is drowning in their own drink. If you don’t believe me, come with me one Friday or Saturday night.
Once a month on a Friday or Saturday night, sometimes more often, I go out on Drugarm (or StreetHelp or Get Smart or whatever its name is). We take hot pies, tea, coffee, and milo out on the streets of Tauranga and its surrounding suburbs and we hunt for young people who are either on their way to get drunk or are already high and/or drunk. If we catch them beforehand, we feed them – at least there’s something in their stomachs before they start knocking back obscene amounts of alcohol. If we catch them after, at least the pie can mop up some of the alcohol in their system.
Our team leader is amazing; he busily moves in all 9 gifts of the spirit, distributing words of knowledge, wisdom, and prophecy while handing out a pie and usually says a karakia for those we engage in conversation. That’s exciting. We often come across gang members and chat with them. That’s fun (please swear less, though). Sometimes there are small riots in the van when we pick up drunk people. That’s adrenaline-raising. Every now and again someone vomits in the van (hopefully, please, Jesus, in a bucket). That’s, um…a challenge.
What I can’t get over is the sheer number of KIDS we pick up. The drunk, high, miserable 13 to 18 year olds. And I can’t get over how many of them are church kids.
They’ve grown up in church and they know about Jesus and the five loaves and seven fish. They know He died for them, and they know they think He’s cool.
But they’re drunk or high, and that’s a nice feeling. Jesus is nice, too. But relationship with Him isn’t as nice as their drunk, high feeling.
It’s nice that we’re Christians, and they think it’s REALLY nice of us to pray for them.
They think it’s awesome that we pick them up, take them home, feed them…
But they’re not really impressed with Christians. And it’s not nice, dude, to tell them they shouldn’t be drinking. They use this line all the time: “Come on, my parents drink. My pastor drinks. They’re just drinking less than me. I can handle my alcohol.”
Sure you can, sunshine, that’s why it’s on my shoes.
But they have a point. Confession time: I used to drink. Not to any point of drunkenness or disorderliness (I fall asleep well before that point). But a glass of something after workor at dinner with friends was common. I flatted with three other Christians for a while, all of us with white-collar jobs and respectable incomes and lifestyles and oh, relationship with Jesus, and the four of us would regularly sit down after work together and have a drink. No big deal, right?
WRONG.
Again, that precious statement. “The Christians in my life all drink. They just drink less than me.” We’re really good at justifying our consumption of alcohol. We don’t abuse it. We don’t go to excess with it. Why is alcohol the only drug we use this excuse for? Most Christians aren’t stupid enough to say “I don’t abuse cocaine, I don’t go to an excess with it” and think they’ll get away with it. We’re comfortable making comments like “I’m not an alcoholic and I’m not addicted to alcohol.” Oh, yeah? Then consider how your one glass a week is impacting your testimony for Jesus.
Firstly, alcohol is a drug. Just because you’re not consuming enough to get high on doesn’t mean it’s okay. Secondly, kids the world over are over-consuming and becoming alcoholics, and the fact that you have one glass or whatever robs you of the right to take a stand against that. Who cares that you only smoke one cigarette a day? The fact that you indulge yourself in that one cigarette means that you have no right to criticise someone who has twenty. The fact that you pass on one piece of gossip robs you of the right to an opinion on the behavior and sin of gossip. The fact that you consume alcohol at ALL means that you have no right to speak against alcoholism.
The alcohol industry is run by people who push the idea that drinking makes you look cool, that alcohol will make you accepted, that it will help you forget how bad life is. The money pouring into that industry comes from the pockets of people from every walk of life, and which kingdom is it fuelling? Every dollar we spend is an investment into a kingdom. That’s not a hysterical religious perspective, it’s a fact. The alcohol industry isn’t run by the Lord, and there’s really only one other kingdom for investing into.
I don’t see any room for compromise when it comes to investing your money. I don’t see any allowance for compromise in exercising wisdom. I don’t see room for compromise in how you treat your health.
In my perfect world, everyone would play soccer, Jesus would coach my team, miracles signs and wonders would be commonplace, intimacy with God would be a common experience, science fiction would be less science fiction and more real life (MINUS the aliens, but PLUS exploration and PLUS Dr. Who MINUS the Daleks), liking politics would be less embarrassing, and alcohol would be altogether obliterated. Almost in that order.
“If the church will not be radically holy, the world will be radically profane.” (Art Katz).
What is worth waiting for?
07 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in fear, Here Comes A New Thing!, Jesus, Philosophy, Romance, theology
I know, a blog is long overdue. But it’s been a few months since I felt strongly enough about anything – that I haven’t written about before, that is – to write. But now I have a topic.
As part of a conversation with a friend this afternoon, the topic of cheating came up. He’d had a conversation with a rather large group of wonderful Christian guys around the topics of sex and cheating, and he’d noted that out of this group, perhaps 3 or 4 of them hadn’t ever cheated on a girlfriend. All the others had cheated on a past girlfriend or present girlfriend. And it was as if that was okay, and normal, and as long as the girl didn’t find out…you get the picture. Before I go any further, let me just say: I don’t think you can just dismiss this issue as a “guy’s problem”. Firstly, temptation is a human problem. Sex is a human addiction. It’s not limited to guys; in fact, some recent research indicates that women struggle just as much as men. Excusing cheating on grounds of being male is inexcusable (no pun intended).
I remember when I was dating my ex, and the relationship was on the rocks big time. He was drinking and not the best company; he even was occasionally on mild drugs. The opportunities to cheat were there. The opportunity to leave one guy and move on to another one was there. The temptation for a brief emotional fling was definitely there. I was not walking with God – I was very much backslidden. But despite how bad my ex was, and despite the opportunity and the temptation, I made a very clear decision: “I am in THIS relationship. I am not going to cheat emotionally or physically. I am NOT going to take the second look, because it’s the second look that kicks off the daydreaming, the wondering ‘what if…what if I dated him, instead of x?’ I will put my hands over my eyes if I need to, to avoid that second look.” I suppose you could call it a covenant, except it was an agreement with myself rather than with someone else.
It’s not that it’s easy for girls not to cheat. It’s that women who love God know that covenental love has no room for even entertaining the thought of cheating.
If you can’t practise covenental relationships with people you’re not married to, there is no chance you’re going to be able to practise covenental relationship with someone you are married to. And if you can’t at least attempt to commit to a flesh and blood human being in front of you, whose emotions are visible to you, whose heart is laid open to you, who’s fooling who if you think you’re ever going to be faithful to God? If the person He trusts you with is the person you are not willing to protect the heart of, what can He trust you with?
Sorry, guys. We deserve better.
It’s not just that we are daughters of God. It’s not just that we are precious to Him. It’s not just that we have immeasurable worth in His eyes. Those are things you should take into account; understanding these things might change the way you see the girl in your life or cause you to appreciate or treasure her. And sure, like Bill Johnson says, if you want more favor from God, treat His daughters well. I believe it is the same for girls – if you want more favor from God, treat His sons well.
But it’s this, too;if you can’t keep it together enough to not cheat on the person you’re dating makes several things clear. You don’t respect, love, or cherish the person you’re with, and you don’t respect, love, or cherish yourself. And you’re fooling yourself if you think you can have any level of intimacy with God while you practise cheating. Infidelity by any other name, under any other guise, with any stupid excuse, remains sin, remains brokenness, remains a vital and powerful part of the enemy’s plan for your life and the other person’s life, remains infidelity.
All that said, what it comes down to is two hearts. If they’re not both committed, there is so much room for brokenness. And the heart that is looking elsewhere has left the relationship. I’m not removing the place of repentance at all – without the place of repentance there is no room for redemption or hope. But I’m saying this: get in, or get out. And learn to walk in the road of grace and commitment to God first, and the other person after. Understand that unfaithfulness breaks the image of God in you further. Understand the damage that unfaithfulness does.
And if you do cheat, please learn not to kiss and tell. Actually, just stop kissing and telling altogether. Yes, guys talk; yes, girls talk. But learn that there are things that should be kept sacred in friendship. When you kiss and tell, you uncover the other person’s heart and leave their reputation in doubt at best or in tatters at worst. Remember that despite their failings, they are still made in the image of God and that your job as even a brother or sister is to protect them. Remember that they are still the bride of Christ, and that He died for her. Remember that, when you’re tempted to share intimate details with a large group of people. If you’re married, what happened between the sheets needs to stay between you, the other person, and the sheets. If you’re not married, what happens between you needs to stay between you, not you, your wide group of friends and acquaintances, and the rest of the world. Don’t betray someone close to you, even to help someone else. If you have to betray them, let it be because they’re drowning and you can’t swim to save them: betray them to the lifeguard.
And finally, I want to ask this question. What is worth waiting for? One comment made today was that sex is a man’s greatest struggle, and even if he’s got the right amazing woman at home, he might be away from home a whole lot. While he’s away from home, there’s a woman waiting for him to come home. Is it really that hard to say no to temptation, knowing she’s thinking of him? Is it really worth the cheap cheat? Or is it worth remembering her value, say no, and wait ’til he’s home?
Remember her worth. Girls, remember his worth. Love the Jesus in each other. Wait ’til you’re home. Love the one you’re with. Just…love.
Impatience…tempered with reluctance
13 Jun 2010 Leave a Comment
in fear, Here Comes A New Thing!, Humor, Jesus, Philosophy, Romance, theology
Isn’t it always the way? Something new comes, but accepting something new requires an abandoning of the old.
It’s graduation time for the students who started in July last year, and as I walk down my hall I hear the sound of Cara packing up her life here into boxes, preparing for her final room inspection. For the rest of this week I’ll go to breakfast duty and smile at how Jarrod comes to breakfast 20 minutes early without fail. I’ll continue to miss the sound of Khan seeking God in the prayer house late at night. I’ll begin to miss Lance jumping with excitement over everything and John bubbling over with laughter and witty comments. I’m already missing seeing Matty Rae’s smiling face in unexpected places.
The things you get used to and take for granted are the things you start to miss when you think about losing them.
I can’t help wondering: what happens from here? My class didn’t keep in touch well; this isn’t even my class, but I’m missing them regardless. People slip into my heart, paint a wall, and slip out of my life too easily, leaving only the colors of their memories there. I tire of the leaving movements…and I wish people would take up more permanent roots.
The four weeks of practicum will be…I’m not sure. Campus is so quiet once everyone leaves. The prayer room, from which I previously wanted to remove courting couples due to their noise and distraction, is finally full of the peace and silence I wanted. Not the silence of God, but the absence of people; and I know from experience that it will not be long before I start planning trips to Wellington just for the ease of cafés that are open until 3am and friends readily available.
And yet…I am anxious and jealous for the time coming. Long hours to spend with my Beloved; long hours to spend quieted before His presence in that same prayer house. Determined to treasure it…and dreading it. Impatience for that time to begin, reluctant to let go of the things whose leaving causes it to be so.
I so wish I could have both sides of the best thing.
I so hate saying goodbye.
I swear, He’s been doubly good to me. But I’m still asking for more. I’m still clinging.
And I am a warrior daughter. But daughter first, soldier second. That’s the mystery that’s making the stars sing and the world collide, and it’s what I just can’t grasp.
lonely places and Jesus in the middle of them
13 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in fear, Here Comes A New Thing!, Jesus, Philosophy, Romance, theology
This day, this week, this month, even this year are lonely places for me, but I think I’ve found Jesus in the middle of them. Because before this semester began, God so very clearly said one thing that made me…unhappy. Restless? Edgy. He said “This year you will be very lonely…and you will need to cling to Me.” Half of me cringed; the other shrugged it off thinking it wasn’t that big a deal – it would be manageable. This week, the loneliness hit hard.
And it is truly not “manageable”. None of my nice formulas or standard means of dealing with the occasional lonely feeling are working. I think it’s just too constant for that.
I suddenly realised my best friends are geographically distant, and one is newly married. I had hoped to make new friends at Faith, but I’m the only girl in second year and there are already developed “best friendships” in place. The girls in first year have, following the natural format, developed close friendships among themselves. It’s good, and it’s right, and I was like that in second year…but I am constantly conscious of being on the outside of those friendships. Always on the outside, looking in; and the one friend who I came here with has…changed. There are layers of gossip, slander, and dishonesty floating through that friendship that I don’t know how to counteract and I am sick of being Jesus to her. I don’t want to be like Him. And yet I do. And the biggest loneliness I feel is the trying to see things through His eyes, to keep perspective clear, to still extend love – grace – compassion without allowing her past actions to taint the present. Let me make this clear: I fail. But in the moments I succeed, the loneliness in that moment is the sharpest thing in the world.
There are seasons…purposes and times in God’s hands. Perhaps the purpose of this season and time is for me to lean on Him more and better. Maybe these are the moments where I am “made” something new. I’m not sure.
What I do know is that somehow Jesus is clearer now than He was. I can’t help but think that His life here must have been too desperately lonely for words. Having only partial access to the Father and cut off from the wonder of heaven, walking through every day fellowshipping with 12 men who loved Him in their own way but who, despite having constant access to the King of Eternity, hardly recognised Him. Nobody truly like Him…nobody loving Him unconditionally. How lonely…my Jesus…must have been.
But He kept loving relentlessly. Those who betrayed Him, those who sold Him – the creator of the earth from which the silver for which He was betrayed came – those who caught the tiniest glimpse of wonderful eternity in His eyes and worshipped Him for everything He was – as far as they could see. He loved them relentlessly. Despite His loneliness, He always had one hand outstretched to love. There is something too wonderful in that for me to grasp properly. It doesn’t make me feel any better, but it makes me love Him more than I thought I could before, because He knows.
Your Renown: Shaun Groves
On this journey home
I will walk Your road
And I will not turn round
For another.
Make my pathway straight
Into heaven’s gates
And I will not turn round
For another
Lord, it’s Your renown
Your eternal fame
That I live for now
It’s Your Name…
It’s Your Name, for Your Name
And in my heart I’m sure
I’m completely Yours
And I will not bown down
For another
Trade my selfishness
For Your holiness
And I will not bown down
For another
For it’s Your renown,
Your eternal fame
That I live for now,
It’s Your Name
It’s Your Name…for Your Name
When my song grows dim
And the dawn surrounds
I will not cry out
For another
It’s for Your renown
Your eternal fame
That I live for now
It’s Your Name…
It’s Your Name…for Your Name…
